Poop Day 2006

Poop day 2006:

Picture a quiet morning, baby Kelsey is sleeping upstairs, Connor is playing with his trains, I am checking my e-mail while the dogs sleep peacefully on their beds next to me. (I just realized this would have sounded great if I had made it into a "Twas the Night Before Christmas" Poem, but alas, I am not a poet.) I half notice Peanut get up, which is not unusual. She sleeps only half as much as Abby. She takes a loop around the house and then I hear a huge loud "Phhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttt" (is that how you spell a farting noise?). I think I must be mistaken because Connor has never farted that loudly-even in his first week of life. I think it must be paper rustling or perhaps Connor has found an empty grocery bag, which I must immediately confiscate due to the suffocation hazzard.

I run into the front room and see Peanut running away from what can only be described as something that looks like that dark brown salsa from Baja Fresh, minus the tomatoes. I immediately put her out and try to do damage control, all the while trying to keep Connor from touching the filth. I start mopping it up with dry paper towels, wet paper towels, etc. when I realize that the force of the enormous fart that came out of my dog's rear had caused the "salsa" to spray a bit, landing some droplets on my shoes sitting near the scene of the crime (a slow motion CSI scene enters my mind-eeewww).

I rush to get the carpet cleaner spray from under the sink, all the while yelling to Connor to stay away from the poo poo. I try, to no avail, to spray the cleaner on the "spot". The freakin thing is broken (at which point I wished I was a cusser, but I am not). So I grab some cleaner that I got suckered into buying from the WT lady that came to my door to sell it a few weeks ago. (I really love the cleaner though.) I spray that enough to soak the carpet and then quarantine off the area. I then open all of the windows in an attempt to get the stench out. The thought then enters my mind, "Crap. We just agreed to have another open house on Sunday!!!"

I convince Connor to watch Nemo (which is not difficult) so I can keep him away from the "area". About an hour later Connor has climbed onto a dining room chair to try to abscond the halloween candy I have hidden. I go over to "assist" him in putting it back when I notice what looks like poop on the dining room chair. Ahhhhh! Mind you, we have cream cloth on the seats. I calmly ask Connor if he stepped in Peanut's poo poo, which he repeatedly says no to. So I tell him we need to clean his feet. I wipe his feet off and realize there is no poop on his feet. I am perplexed. Aha! (lightbulb over head) So, I ask Connor if he went poo poo. I check his diaper and, of course, he has and it has started to come out of his diaper, which got on the chair when he sat on it. I go to change his diaper and when I grab his ankles to pull his legs up I realize there is poop on them, which has now transferred to me (eeewww). I start to clean up a very messy poop when I come to the end of my package of wipes. (again, wish I was a cusser) So, I clean him up as best as possible with the 2 wipes that are left (I usually use about 4 wipes on him). I throw the diaper on and swiftly move him to the sink to wash his legs, ankles, and feet-and my hands!!

Needless to say, when Dan called to see if I wanted to meet him for dinner I said I was too stressed!

BTW: Good news! Stanley Steemer was able to come out to clean the carpet before the open house!